From Other Divorce Professionals:

Kate, you are tackling some of the most difficult emotion-packed topics with a combination of in-your-face directness and compassionate grace. This stuff is not easy to handle, it’s not easy to hear, it’s not easy to live, and it’s not easy to talk about. Your expertise and manner are incredibly helpful for the people experiencing these situations. As a family law attorney, I am not qualified to offer the best advice – I am thrilled I have your articles toward which I can point my clients.

Kate, you are direct and to the point, being rigorously honest, gently. It’s what I love about your approach and your articles!

Your article is impressive and gives parents tools to deal with a difficult ex and their children post-divorce. You are certainly correct when you [say] “This is tough stuff.” I appreciate you offering specific strategies since it’s so easy for parents to be blindsided by an ex’s difficult behaviors.

I love this article! It’s so practical and well written… it shows the depth of your clinical experience and your understanding regarding high conflict after divorce.

You’re always on the cutting edge of topics. I adore your articles – so helpful to the divorce community!

Your article is so helpful for us attorneys who deal with these questions every day from clients and can only direct [them] to seek therapeutic advice. May I share?

Excellent article. I’ve linked to it on my business Facebook page. You’re examples are great – haven’t we all heard variations of these? I like your mini-scripts, very helpful.

Fantastic article. One of the best blog posts I have seen on this topic and the concrete examples and rules make it understandable and so useful! I plan to pass this on to clients and friends who are dealing with this issue.

What an excellent article…I will readily share with clients–those going through divorce, and those in couples counseling where infidelity is an issue (or for those in individual therapy struggling with the temptation). I love its direct and straight-forward commentary–it’s genuine and honest, and I believe reflective of the emotion that infidelity generates.

Great piece, Kate. There are a lot of elements in your article that empower parents as leaders of their family  to be intentional about taking the initiative in letting children know that mom and dad are going to take care of them.

Kate Scharff’s articles are amazing– always clear, insightful, inspiring, and full of useful information.

Fabulous article. From a well-balanced, moderate, non-alarmist perspective.

These are fantastic, thoughtful, and child-focused tips, and I’m going to share them with all of my clients going through this process.

Excellent advice on a very tough subject! Thanks for providing clear insights into why we must protect our children from our ego-based inclinations when they can be psychologically damaging to our innocent kids.

I am a family Lawyer Mediator in the UK and often struggle to find the right tools to help parents in high conflict to set aside their adult issues and focus purely on being parents to their children. This article is really helpful . . .

Thank you on behalf of all those children out there who are subject to the battle of their parents.

I can think of three clients I would like to send this helpful advice to right now. And I will.

Kate, A wonderful article that addresses a topic that is rarely covered. I love this well composed and informative piece and continue to be impressed with the quality of your writing and your insight.

Kate, once again, an out-of-the-park article for parents from a child’s perspective (and from personal experience, adult children of divorce as well). It is hard to find straightforward, come-to-Jesus information for my clients – this article hits the spot. Thank you!

I am a family law lawyer in Toronto, Ontario. I have represented children in extremely high conflict custody/access cases and have heard, from them, many of the same things you have written in this article. Even when I represent adults, I am very child-focused and see my role as educative with respect to the best interest of the children — simply providing legal representation does not cut if for me. I have read many of your articles (through links on LinkedIn) and find them extremely well written and informative. May I provide them to my clients? I am in the process of setting up a new website and would like to provide a link to your articles.

Another wonderful piece from Kate Scharff.  It’s aimed at divorced parents, but (like so much of Kate’s writing) it’s relevant for all parents.

This. Is. Brilliant. Copies should be on the table in every family law firm’s reception area.

Every divorced parent should read this.  Seriously.  Laminate it, sell it, tape it to your bathroom mirror.

From Divorcing Parents:

Thank you for your insightful articles. I keep re-reading them to remind me of what’s important when I get angry, overwhelmed, or just want to be reassured that I’m not the only one going through this stuff.

I almost didn’t read this article because, well, sometimes you just don’t want to read another thing that has the potential to make you feel guilty. I mean, it’s not as if I want my kids to have to deal with divorce, as if I’m not already heartbroken that they have to deal with this in their lives. But this was a great article. You wrote it in a tone that I could hear and understand your points without feeling judged. Thank you!

You are of right when you say that “telling your kids can be one of the worst part of divorce.” My wife and I struggled with telling our kids we were splitting up. I wish we had had a friend like Kate Scharff.

I just wanted to thank you! My youngest, while getting ready this morning for school, said “Cara’s parents have a book where they write to each other. They can’t even talk to each other or they fight. I can’t imagine that. I’m happy you and daddy are friends.” She is nine years old. My ex and I can barely stand to be around each other, but have made such an effort to keep away from the children, and even sit together at soccer and school functions. However, I have to admit that some of the things on your [list of behaviors that upset children] have been creeping in on my side. Your article was such a wake-up call this morning and perfect timing with my daughter’s comment. Thank you so much.

I love your article because it reminds us not to beat ourselves up when we make parenting mistakes and to remember that we are doing the best we can during a very hard time

I wish my husband and I had had this article when we were separating. At the time, we thought we were doing a good job, but in hindsight we could have done much better.

As a newly divorced parent, I follow your  articles on the Huffington Post and on your blog.  Every single one has given me insight into a problem or emotion that I’m coping with.  Sometimes I feel you must be bugging my house because your ideas are so spot on.  It helps to know that someone understands.  It makes me feel there’s hope that things will get easier.

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